Saturday, September 22, 2007

"Ninja Cheerleaders" review


Ninja Cheerleaders (2007)

Director: David Presley
Writer: David Presley

Trishelle Cannatella... Courtney
Ginny Weirick... April
Maitland McConnell... Monica
George Takei... Hiroshi
Michael Paré... Victor Lazzaro
Omar J. Dorsey... Manny
Max Perlich... Jimmy 'The Snitch'
Natasha Chang... Kinji
Larry Poindexter... Detective Harris

I went to a cast and crew screening of “Ninja Cheerleaders” the other day. I was invited to go by my usual B-movie plus one. This time however, I was the plus one and he was the man. We rolled down Melrose to check out the flick with about 150 or so of our closest friends. Actually, we didn’t know anyone there. It’s more fun that way. So when people stare at you and wonder why you’re there, you can give them that mysterious look as if you totally belong there and they should know who in the heck you are.

After the movie was over, we hopped in the car and headed to a club over on Sunset. This was the after party for the screening and the alcohol was flowing. Unfortunately, my friend hadn’t figured out where the free booze was and bought two drinks at the bar. Later we learned the hard truth about Hollywood liquor prices and tears were falling. But once we found where the secret VIP booze was, all became right with the world. We talked up many members of the cast and crew to discuss what fortunes ultimately await their movie.

After two Red Bull and Vodkas, the Ninja Cheerleaders came over and we began talking about some other things but my memory is a little bit hazy on the details. All I do know is that one of the Cheerleaders was totally into me. Wait…is that what happened or did she leave faster than the Roadrunner? Before I could dwell on the subject, a dancing fire show broke out. Yes, I said a dancing fire show. I saw a girl in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform shaking her hips while a burning hula hoop went round and round her body. Ahh, good times man.

One of the main selling points of “Ninja Cheerleaders” is Trishelle Cannatella. Unfortunately, this selling point was lost on me as I despise reality TV and would only know of her existence if I had seen one of her many shows on MTV. After watching the movie, I was interested in talking her up for a bit at the party. She wasn’t there. Another selling point of “Ninja Cheerleaders” was George Takei as the wise Hiroshi. Getting the chance to gab with Mr. Sulu would have been pretty cool. He wasn’t there either. Oh well. I’ll always have my “Ninja Cheerleader” memories.

Three babes are cheerleaders by day and ninjas any other time they’re not cheering. They’ve been studying hard to get into an Ivy League school and need to win the go-go dancing tournament to pay for it all. Of course they do. But their concentration gets broken when their wise master gets kidnapped by some B-movie thugs. They can’t decide if they should waste the bad guys or go ahead with their go-go dancing. They decide their master would have wanted them to gyrate on stage for their academic future. This is a wise man. It all ends with a lot of bone crunching swordplay with George Takei showing why he is the master.

“Ninja Cheerleaders” is a total B-movie. The title doesn’t lie to you. They have cheerleaders and they have ninjas. You will see cheering and you will see, uh, ninjaing.

It’s a fun flick with the girls alternating between dancing on stage, cheering at the big game or breaking many arms and legs of hapless punks. The camera work is pretty good for a B-flick as all of the action scenes are coherent and keep moving. There’s not a lot of sleaze in this flick but that’s on purpose. They were trying to keep a light tone and managed to hold it throughout the movie. As a sleaze maniac, I was hoping for a little nudity from the ninja babes but I guess I’ll live with what I got. Overall, I had a good time. “Ninja Cheerleaders” is worth a look.
SCORE: 2 out of 4 Ninja babes

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