Saturday, April 2, 2011

"Raptor" review


Raptor (2001)



Eric Roberts ... Sheriff Jim Tanner

Corbin Bernsen ... Dr. Hyde

Melissa Brasselle ... Barbara Phillips

Tim Abell ... Capt. Connellly

William Monroe ... Capt. York

Harrison Page ... Deputy Ben Glover (as Harrison Paige

Lorissa McComas ... Lola Tanner


Wynorski has escaped from a lab and the army has to hunt him down before he kills again. Actually, Wynorski's shameless "Carnosaur" rip-off has escaped from the B-movie lab and we must kill it before anyone else sees it. A mad scientist has gone madder than usual as his puppet dinosaurs are running amok. Eric Roberts shows up as the local sheriff to investigate dino-related carnage. Corbin Bernsen is hard at work trying to cover his tracks as the army closes in. Some cheap dinosaurs showed up, did nothing interesting and my mind started to wander off into deep, sweet dino oblivion...


It's sad. You would think a movie with malicious dinosaurs would be more exciting. Was vaguely interesting asking too much? Yes, it was. "Raptor" konked me out after 45 minutes. The army was going to kill some raptors and zzzzzzz... "Raptor" sent me into a deep dino coma. None of the screaming and yelling on screen could shake me out of my slumber. I woke up to the sound of my VCR rewinding the tape for me.


I wrestled with the moral dilemma of whether to go back and watch the rest of "Raptor" for about two seconds. I took my power nap as a sign to let this one go. Wynorski clearly didn't care about making an entertaining movie so why should I care about watching it? I can say with full confidence that even watching five minutes of this movie is too much. The only thing positive to say about "Raptor" is that it's a boon for people suffering from insomnia. Pop this lame excuse for a movie in and get ready to snooze.


In conclusion: Good nap. Bad movie.




SCORE: 1 out of 4 cheap raptors

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