"KillerKiller" review

KillerKiller (2007)

Director: Pat Higgins
Writer: Pat Higgins

Richard Collins ... Perry
Scott Denyer ... Samuel
Dutch Dore-Boize ... Lawrence
Cy Henty ... Rosebrook
Rami Hilmi ... Wallis
Danny James ... Victor
James Kavaz ... Harris

So there's a killer running loose in an insane asylum. Actually there is a killer killer. A bunch of psychos have been released from their cells by some mysterious force. As the loons bicker and argue about who could have freed them, the mysterious being, (who cleverly disguises itself as a hot blonde), picks off the crazies one by one. Who is this malevolent beast who sometimes, (one time actually), dresses as a cheerleader to send serial killers to their grave? Is she the ghosts of victims past? Does anyone care?

I take B-movie advertising seriously. I don't know why but I do. You'd think after all this time I would get the message that B-movie showmen are a deceitful bunch of weasels who get perverse pleasure out of ripping me off. The cover of "KillerKiller" has a blonde cheerleader holding a pom pom in one hand and a bloody hatchet in the other. Based on this cover, I thought it was reasonable to expect to see a killer cheerleader attacking the inmates of an asylum. I was at least expecting a campy horror movie showing psychos being hunted by an even bigger blonde psycho. I was wrong again.

"KillerKiller" is a actually a character study of different inmates and how they deal with the sins they've committed. The blonde beast that has been unleashed on them attacks them using their own sick murder fantasies against them. So if a psycho likes to remove people's organs and replace them with automotive machinery, then he'll turn up on the slab getting his guts ripped out. If some guy likes putting a power drill through hooker's heads, then his body will get some ventilation, etc.

Thankfully, there is a murder tag team who loves killing cheerleaders. When they slip into her fantasy world, she appears as cheerleader bait for them to pounce on. This whips the fiends up into a murderous frenzy but the cheerleader strikes first and ruins their day by butchering them. This is the first and last appearance of the killer cheerleader in the movie.

Since selling a movie based on a bunch of guys sitting around an ugly room arguing with each other is near impossible, the marketing department decided to latch on to the one exploitable element in the movie and plastered the killer cheerleader on the DVD cover. My expectations were dashed. Dreams have died. This is not a killer cheerleader movie. It should have been. The movie they made is not nearly as entertaining as some whacked out cheerleader rampaging through the halls of an insane asylum would have been.

Overall, "KillerKiller" was disappointing. It teased me with its fraudulent advertising. I wanted bloody pom poms, I got maniacs debating each other in a foul, paint peeling room. Nothing of interest comes out of their banal conversations. How many times can they argue about who's killing them? They're serial killers for crying out loud. Start acting on your homicidal impulses and do something interesting. Also, the sound quality of the DVD is terrible. Actually, disgraceful would be a better word for it. You have to blast the volume to hear the dialogue. When the blonde monster finally shows up, you have to turn it down quickly before the neighbors call the cops on you.

One last thought, I did learn something from this British movie. There are no cheerleaders in England. I never thought about it before but I suppose cheerleading is an American phenomenon. It makes me wonder why they bothered to put a cheerleader on their cover if there was no way a British serial killer could have racked up a body count. Could it be they just wanted the exploitation fans rental money? I wonder...

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 violent cheerleaders