"Vampires vs. Zombies" review

Vampires vs. Zombies (2004)

Directed by Vince D'Amato
Writing credits Sheridan Le Fanu

Bonny Giroux.... Jenna Fontaine
C.S. Munro.... Travis Fontaine
Maratama Carlson.... Carmilla
Brinke Stevens.... Julia/State Trooper

Yikes. Double Yikes. What in the world is going on in this movie? I have seen some wacky B-movies in my day but this one is out of its mind. This is a super blender movie. A bunch of scenes were filmed and then tossed into the movie blender. Someone hit warp speed and out spewed "Vampires vs. Zombies".

So, hmmmm...how do I describe this movie? It's close to impossible. Two blondes take off in a yellow jeep. They hope to find the movie somewhere out on the open road. They stop for a second so that they can kiss. Then it's back to it. They hop back and forth from a mental hospital, to some sort of crypt and then to a motel. Then there's a dead girl in the back of a car and something else and ahh who cares? The director didn't care if it made any sense. Why should I?

"Vampires vs. Zombies" is Grade-Z incompetence but it's well meaning incompetence. It has plenty of nonsensical gore scenes. The two blondes stop every once and awhile to make out. These are good things. But "Vampires vs. Zombies" plays like a director's highlight reel. It's all just a bunch of random horror scenes stapled together. This movie makes no sense. While I enjoy seeing two blondes make out in a yellow jeep, I can't possibly enjoy this jumbled excuse of a movie. I'm going to grab two aspirins and call it a day.

SCORE: LANDFILL