"The Arena" review

The Arena (2001)

Directed by Timur Bekmambetov
Writing credits John William Corrington

Karen McDougal.... Jessemina
Lisa Dergan.... Bodicia
Olga Sutulova.... Livia
Julia Chicherina.... Diedra

I was strolling through the Action section of Blockbuster the other day when I spotted this one. "The Arena". Interesting...I looked closer. It had two Amazon gladiator chicks doing battle in "The Arena". I thought about reading the description on the back of the box but then thought better of it. It couldn't possibly be any more enticing than the front. Why ruin a perfectly good Amazon warrior movie with plot ramblings?

Naturally, it didn't take long for this one to disappoint me. I've got to learn to control my B-movie lust. I see Amazons fighting, I get excited. I can't help myself. "The Arena" is an ambitious movie. It longs to be more than just a movie with two hot chicks fighting to the death. Why the filmmakers would want this is unknown. It has a plot, characters, drama, weird camera angles and all sorts of things that shouldn't be anywhere near an Amazon sword fighting flick.

There was one scene that started to scare me. The Romans are celebrating their victory by having a party. This party has all the soldiers in a circle holding hands, jumping up and down and shouting "Ho! - Ho! - Ho! Ho! Ho!". This drags on for about three minutes. I wasn't sure where this male bonding party was heading. Fortunately, the Amazons broke up the festivities before things got out of hand. Amazon women save the day again.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 Playmate gladiators