"Evil Remains" review

Evil Remains (2004)
AKA Trespassing

Directed by James Merendino
Writing credits James Merendino

Jeff Galpin.... Carl Bryce
Maryam d'Abo.... Linda Bryce
Will Rokos.... John Bryce
Estella Warren.... Kristy Goodman

I rented this one because I saw the blonde from "Planet of the Apes" on the video box cover. All I wanted was an Estella Warren slasher flick. What I got instead is a mystery to me. Lots of yelling and screaming but not nearly enough Warren slashing.

So five idiots head to an abandoned plantation that may be cursed. The main guy is there to prove that there is no such thing as curses at scary mansions with a history of violence. He must have never watched a horror flick before. Suffice to say, there's something funky going on. Evil Remains at the big house. How this evil manifests itself will forever be a mystery to the perplexed and irritated audience.

Basically, this is one of those B-flicks that has their cast members have a nervous breakdown from all of the "evil" around them. So the idiots yell and scream at each other and somehow die horribly. Did one of them commit all of the murders or is there someone else having all of the fun? Who knows? The filmmakers don't feel the need to share that information and would rather have you scratch your head. Warren runs for her life from a madman but it ends on a sour note that negates the chase and pretty much the whole movie.

SCORE: 1.5 out of 4 mysterious Warrens

Well, if nothing else, at least this movie gives me an excuse to post some Estella Warren pictures.

Did you know she was a professional swimmer? Me neither! Here's some interesting trivia from the IMDb: "Estella Warren was a synchronized swimmer from the age of seven until 17 in her native Canada. She moved away from home at 12 to train for the Canadian National Team. She was the Canadian National Champion for three years and represented her country at the World Aquatic Championship, where she placed second."

Man, that must mean we need a picture of her in a bikini! Here you go: