Just checking in...
So my life has been pretty boring lately. Its all just same shit new day. But i'm happy. I haven't even had my typical ups and downs and crazy mood swings. I've just been pretty mellow. No self abusive behavior. No drugs. Just James, the gym and alot of bad TV.
I think i've finally come to terms with being single and not needing someone else in my life just to get by. Granted i have met someone special, but i refuse to force anything. Just take it at all face value to avoid jealousies and all that other bullshit i dont need in my life. The best comment i've heard lately is "The only person that will never leave you is you" and that what i'm gonna live by. I need to be happy with who i am before i can be happy with someone else. But to be honest, i am pretty content with who i'm becoming.
A am thrilled that as each day goes by that the end of my porn career creeps closer. I'm questioning what is going to come next but i'm not scared. I'm actually pretty excited. The thought of having a real, steady life, is sounding better and better. I'm gonna accept it with open arms. I'm not impressed with the work that i have done so far, i'm sure in time i will be.
I guess thats all for now. Sorry i been so boring.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
"Wrestlemaniac" review
Wrestlemaniac (2006)AKA El Mascarado Massacre
AKA The Mexican Porn Massacre
Director: Jesse Baget
Writer: Jesse Baget
Rey Misterio Sr. ... El Mascarado
Irwin Keyes ... Stranger
Adam Huss ... Alphonse
Leyla Razzari ... Dallas (as Leyla Milani)
Margaret Scarborough ... Debbie
Jeremy Radin ... Steve
Catherine Wreford ... Daisy
Zack Bennett ... Jimbo
Writer: Jesse Baget
Rey Misterio Sr. ... El Mascarado
Irwin Keyes ... Stranger
Adam Huss ... Alphonse
Leyla Razzari ... Dallas (as Leyla Milani)
Margaret Scarborough ... Debbie
Jeremy Radin ... Steve
Catherine Wreford ... Daisy
Zack Bennett ... Jimbo
I am going to chug a Negra Modelo before writing this review. You’ve got to get into the spirit of things when writing about a movie called “Wrestlemaniac”. Ready? Here we go. Chug! Chug! Chug! This is full contact reviewing here. Only a little bit more to go now. It’s gone. Now for my finishing move. I’m going to have a shot of Patron in a shot glass I got from Vegas. I’ve been saving this glass for a special occasion. Discussing the merits of a killer masked wrestler movie demands tequila. Cheers! Off the top rope! OK. I’m ready now.
An amateur porn crew heads to Mexico to film some porn. Instead of going to a sleazy motel, they decide to stop in a sleazy ghost town. It is there that the fat dork of the crew tells them the legend of the big masked wrestler who liked to rip people’s faces off. This turns the director on and he wants to make it with his porn hotties as soon as possible. After a few breasts have been seen, the wrestlemaniac makes his appearance. Faces are torn off while the crew runs for their lives. Thankfully the fat dork knows how to defeat the wrestlemaniac. You’ve got to unmask the masked maniac and he will run away forever. Easier said than done.
“Wrestlemaniac”. What a great idea for a B-movie. There should be more B-movies with porn casts getting attacked by masked wrestlers. There are so many more avenues to explore with this particular genre. You could have a tag team match between two masked maniacs and two S&M dominatrixs. Or a lesbian steel cage match! Or MILF’s vs Maniacs! The sleaze potential is endless.
“Wrestlemaniac” is content with just scratching the surface of sleaze possibilities. It delivers the bare minimum of what you would expect from an important piece of cinema called “Wrestlemaniac”. There is a brief porno scene and the wrestler does rip some faces off. It’s got some blood and hot babes so you know that's always good.
There is also one wrestling scene in the movie. I’m glad it was in there but I was hoping for more. Some graphic eye gouging and hair pulling with the porn babes could have been the ticket to sleaze nirvana.
Overall, “Wrestlemaniac” is a fair B-movie. It moves along and gives you a little bang for your buck. It may be worth a look. I just hope in “Wrestlemaniac 2” they decide to throw down and put the wrestle back in “Wrestlemaniac”. It needs some more porn body slamming action to make it a sleaze classic.
An amateur porn crew heads to Mexico to film some porn. Instead of going to a sleazy motel, they decide to stop in a sleazy ghost town. It is there that the fat dork of the crew tells them the legend of the big masked wrestler who liked to rip people’s faces off. This turns the director on and he wants to make it with his porn hotties as soon as possible. After a few breasts have been seen, the wrestlemaniac makes his appearance. Faces are torn off while the crew runs for their lives. Thankfully the fat dork knows how to defeat the wrestlemaniac. You’ve got to unmask the masked maniac and he will run away forever. Easier said than done.
“Wrestlemaniac”. What a great idea for a B-movie. There should be more B-movies with porn casts getting attacked by masked wrestlers. There are so many more avenues to explore with this particular genre. You could have a tag team match between two masked maniacs and two S&M dominatrixs. Or a lesbian steel cage match! Or MILF’s vs Maniacs! The sleaze potential is endless.
“Wrestlemaniac” is content with just scratching the surface of sleaze possibilities. It delivers the bare minimum of what you would expect from an important piece of cinema called “Wrestlemaniac”. There is a brief porno scene and the wrestler does rip some faces off. It’s got some blood and hot babes so you know that's always good.
There is also one wrestling scene in the movie. I’m glad it was in there but I was hoping for more. Some graphic eye gouging and hair pulling with the porn babes could have been the ticket to sleaze nirvana.Overall, “Wrestlemaniac” is a fair B-movie. It moves along and gives you a little bang for your buck. It may be worth a look. I just hope in “Wrestlemaniac 2” they decide to throw down and put the wrestle back in “Wrestlemaniac”. It needs some more porn body slamming action to make it a sleaze classic.
SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 wrestlemaniacs
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
NEW PORN RULE! FAKE FACIALS
NEW PORN RULE!
NO MORE FAKE FACIALS!
This is not a facial! This is a woman getting a bucket of creamed ice milk thrown in her face. If I wanted to see movies with no production values, no hot women, no talent and with ridiculous gimmicks to sell themselves then I would watch something by Extreme Associates.
I will say though, this picture kind of turns me on.
NEW PORN RULE! FAKE DICKS
NEW PORN RULE!
NO MORE FAKE DICKS!
That's not a penis! If I wanted to see a bullshit, fake looking generic cock on my TV, then I would watch a John Strong scene! What's worse is watching the girls pretend it's actually a real cock. And if you're going to use fake dicks at least make them realistic. Somewhere in America a kitchen Table is missing one of it's legs.
Love, Life, Stress and Set Backs.
No matter where i stood, i still manage to stand.
I know i'm annoying. I know that i have more ups and downs than a see-saw. Lets just say that i have the worse case of Man-PMS known to man. But i'm fucking happy. The majority of it due to the guy that i have been seeing.
He single handedly has had my face hurting from all the smiling i have been doing. Its silly puppy love, i know, but it feels fucking good. I mean, you know maybe its to early to tell if we are completely compatiable, but the way he looks at me like he couldn't be happier to be with me is enough to have me completely hooked.
I'm not sure where this is going or if i'm even ready for another relationship just yet, cuz lets face it, i'm alot to deal with, but this is what i should be doing, taking things slow, enjoying life, having good people around me.
Hey maybe he will even distarct me enough this weekend from getting totally fucked up. I haven't tested those waters yet. I don't know if i wanna fuck up something i been enjoying so much by getting high. I guess well see how deep the hooks are set in on friday. I can actually hear the GHB in my fridge screaming to drink me. LOL. Kidding, maybe.
So on an even better note, I will be seeing the Hip Hop Group Atmosphere on sunday and i'm so fucking excited. The last time i was supposed to see them i ended up getting into a fight before the show and breaking some dudes face, spending some time in jail and fighting the court over 6 month stint behind bars.
What seemed like an eternity on probation and thousands and thousands of dollars later they are back into town and i completely intend on seeing them this time. I'll save the fighting for after the show. Motherfuckers better bring their retard helmets!
I know i'm annoying. I know that i have more ups and downs than a see-saw. Lets just say that i have the worse case of Man-PMS known to man. But i'm fucking happy. The majority of it due to the guy that i have been seeing.
He single handedly has had my face hurting from all the smiling i have been doing. Its silly puppy love, i know, but it feels fucking good. I mean, you know maybe its to early to tell if we are completely compatiable, but the way he looks at me like he couldn't be happier to be with me is enough to have me completely hooked.
I'm not sure where this is going or if i'm even ready for another relationship just yet, cuz lets face it, i'm alot to deal with, but this is what i should be doing, taking things slow, enjoying life, having good people around me.
Hey maybe he will even distarct me enough this weekend from getting totally fucked up. I haven't tested those waters yet. I don't know if i wanna fuck up something i been enjoying so much by getting high. I guess well see how deep the hooks are set in on friday. I can actually hear the GHB in my fridge screaming to drink me. LOL. Kidding, maybe.
So on an even better note, I will be seeing the Hip Hop Group Atmosphere on sunday and i'm so fucking excited. The last time i was supposed to see them i ended up getting into a fight before the show and breaking some dudes face, spending some time in jail and fighting the court over 6 month stint behind bars.
What seemed like an eternity on probation and thousands and thousands of dollars later they are back into town and i completely intend on seeing them this time. I'll save the fighting for after the show. Motherfuckers better bring their retard helmets!
Monday, April 21, 2008
NEW PORN RULE! KHAN TUSION
NEW PORN RULE
KHAN TUSION MUST STOP BEING A PUSSY AND SHOW HIS FACE!
If you're man enough to slap a womans pussy and make her cry. Then you can be a man and show your face. No one is going to hunt you down and kill you, no one is going to show up at your studio and kick your ass for pissing on their sister. Because secretly we all love what you do (used to do, anyway) and we know that if you were dead we would be deprived of the chance that piss mops is coming back. If Max Hardcore can put on a Cowboy hat while his dick is in a girls ass and play the guitar... then you can show your face.
They're All Gonna Laugh @ You
Back on track...
So again, i'm sorry to leave everyone hanging, but i have just been keeping myself busy, doing absolutely nothing important.
To be honest, i tried to write something over this weekend but my brain was way to fried to do anything. It was my best friends 30th b-day so this whole weekend i was trainwreck. I think both nights i went out, i made an ass out of myself. You know its already bad enough that where ever i go, i stick out like a sore thumb, but then to stick out while stumbling all over the club or to be sitting in the corner of the place drooling on myself. I think i intentionally set out to make myself look like a pure fuck up. Almost every weekend, i question my reasoning of even going out. I tell myself, "Maybe you'll meet someone, but you know your gonna get way to fucked up to even talk with anyone,so why go?" I end up going out anyway, and the end result is always the same. I get nothing out of it. I just end up getting hit on by disgusting super fans or the scumbags that seek out the most fucked up guy in the club in hope that he will be an easy lay.
And then when i'm not that fucked up i'm told that i have an ego, that i think i'm better than everyone... funniest thing is that i don't, i'm just trying my best to fit in. Why do you think i need the drugs? It hopefully so i can relax and not be the social retard that i am normally.
Fuck it, I'm sure i'll figure it all out soon enough.
Anyway this weekend took forever because i was really waiting for today. I am supposed to hangout with this guy again (the toes curling sex guy from the previous blog) and i'm really excited. I don't have to get high or pretend around him and i feel totally comfortable. The last time we hung out, i just held him as we watched TV and i couldnt have been happier. I didn't want him to leave. You know, i'd give up every single shitty weekend just to have more boring yet happy nights like that in my life.
I sure he might actually get bored to tears tonight cuz i dont have much planned with him tonight beyond cuddling with him and trying to learn everything i can about him. To be honest i don't even know how the guy feels, and what his intentions are with me, but i hoping that they are similar mine... just taking it slow and enjoying the possibility of things going in a better direction.
Well, he just sent me a text mesaage saying how excited he is to hang out with me, the smile on my face is from ear to ear.
So again, i'm sorry to leave everyone hanging, but i have just been keeping myself busy, doing absolutely nothing important.
To be honest, i tried to write something over this weekend but my brain was way to fried to do anything. It was my best friends 30th b-day so this whole weekend i was trainwreck. I think both nights i went out, i made an ass out of myself. You know its already bad enough that where ever i go, i stick out like a sore thumb, but then to stick out while stumbling all over the club or to be sitting in the corner of the place drooling on myself. I think i intentionally set out to make myself look like a pure fuck up. Almost every weekend, i question my reasoning of even going out. I tell myself, "Maybe you'll meet someone, but you know your gonna get way to fucked up to even talk with anyone,so why go?" I end up going out anyway, and the end result is always the same. I get nothing out of it. I just end up getting hit on by disgusting super fans or the scumbags that seek out the most fucked up guy in the club in hope that he will be an easy lay.
And then when i'm not that fucked up i'm told that i have an ego, that i think i'm better than everyone... funniest thing is that i don't, i'm just trying my best to fit in. Why do you think i need the drugs? It hopefully so i can relax and not be the social retard that i am normally.
Fuck it, I'm sure i'll figure it all out soon enough.
Anyway this weekend took forever because i was really waiting for today. I am supposed to hangout with this guy again (the toes curling sex guy from the previous blog) and i'm really excited. I don't have to get high or pretend around him and i feel totally comfortable. The last time we hung out, i just held him as we watched TV and i couldnt have been happier. I didn't want him to leave. You know, i'd give up every single shitty weekend just to have more boring yet happy nights like that in my life.
I sure he might actually get bored to tears tonight cuz i dont have much planned with him tonight beyond cuddling with him and trying to learn everything i can about him. To be honest i don't even know how the guy feels, and what his intentions are with me, but i hoping that they are similar mine... just taking it slow and enjoying the possibility of things going in a better direction.
Well, he just sent me a text mesaage saying how excited he is to hang out with me, the smile on my face is from ear to ear.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
NEW PORN RULE! BOOB JOBS
NEW PORN RULE! PORN STARS MUST STOP RUINING THEIR BODIES BY GETTING RIDICULOUS IMPLANTS!
Very rarely does this ever work. Hillary Scott, Codi Lane, Lexus Locklear, Rio Mariah, Holly Wellin are all good examples of Porn Stars that looked better after a boob job. But the list of Porn Stars that look odd and freakish after their boob jobs is longer then my dick!
Melissa Lauren, Katsumi, Tegan Presley, Lucy Lee and a whole host of others. For all of these women there was that one day when I popped in a dvd and saw them with more alterations to their bodies then fucking Robocop . With all due
respect, no one watches a Melissa Lauren scene to warship her body. I mean she is good looking. But we all watch Melissa Lauren to see her get fucked in the ass until she cries. Maybe on the business side it help her get a contract. But from the fan point of view it only hurts. I'll go on record and say right now that if Jasmine Byrne, Roxy Jezel, Jayna Oso, Chiquita Lopez, Bobbi Star, Taylor Rain, or Courtney Simpson ever get implants, I'm gonna jump out a fucking window and never watch one of their scenes again.! To be honest a really good boob job costs thousands of dollars ala. Christina Aguilerra or Mariah Carey. And most of the boob jobs we see in porn did not cost thousands of dollars. 
"Zombie Strippers" review
Zombie Strippers (2008)Director: Jay Lee
Writer: Jay Lee
Robert Englund... Ian Essko
Jenna Jameson... Kat
Roxy Saint... Lillith
Joey Medina ... Paco
Shamron Moore ... Jeannie
Penny Drake ... Sox
Jennifer Holland ... Jessy
John Hawkes ... Davis
Jeannette Sousa ... Berengé
Whitney Anderson ... Gaia
Carmit Levité ... Madame Blavatski
I saw “Zombie Strippers” at the Nuart. I would have thought less of myself if I had passed up an opportunity to see a film called “Zombie Strippers” in the theaters. I also got a free Jenna Jameson comic book out of the deal. It came with the ticket. Could life get any sweeter?! I grabbed my candy and soda and made my way to the front. I had to see the zombie stripping up close.
So a zombie virus escapes a government lab. An infected soldier from the zombie hit squad runs for cover in a strip club. Of course he does. When he sees Jenna Jameson stripping, it drives him wild for her flesh. He proceeds to eat a good chunk of her. This turns out OK for Jenna as being dead increases her stripping skills. Soon the other girls get jealous of all the attention undead Jenna is getting and decide they want to join the zombie gravy train. But zombie strippers need to eat and the downside to ghoulish stripping becomes apparent as a room full of customers becomes a room full of mindless zombies. More blood, breasts and zombie chaos follow.
Jenna Jameson is a master hair flipper. She is right up there with Nikki Fritz in the hair flipper Hall of Fame. And stripping? Jenna Jameson is a world class stripper. Jenna pounces on stage after getting a zombie bite to show the club how the undead can dance. If you don’t get turned on by seeing Jenna Jameson strip while blood runs over her body, you don’t like B-movies. This scene was the highlight of the movie. Jenna Jameson’s undead strip tease was a sublime B-movie moment. I was entranced.
“Zombie Strippers” is a fun B-movie. A complaint I often make about these movies is that the filmmakers don’t put enough effort into it to make it fun or sometimes even worth sitting through. “Zombie Strippers” does not have that problem. The filmmakers took great care in making sure fans will enjoy it. Robert Englund did a good job as the sleazy club owner and the guy who played the janitor had me laughing. His scene naming his bullets for his last stand was hilarious.
“Zombie Strippers” is packed full of B-movie goodness. It had naked breasts, undead breasts, Goth breasts, redhead breasts and some more naked breasts. There’s also blood, guts, exploding heads, and zombie stripper catfights. This movie has it all! I was very pleased. Go see some dead strippers!
So a zombie virus escapes a government lab. An infected soldier from the zombie hit squad runs for cover in a strip club. Of course he does. When he sees Jenna Jameson stripping, it drives him wild for her flesh. He proceeds to eat a good chunk of her. This turns out OK for Jenna as being dead increases her stripping skills. Soon the other girls get jealous of all the attention undead Jenna is getting and decide they want to join the zombie gravy train. But zombie strippers need to eat and the downside to ghoulish stripping becomes apparent as a room full of customers becomes a room full of mindless zombies. More blood, breasts and zombie chaos follow.
Jenna Jameson is a master hair flipper. She is right up there with Nikki Fritz in the hair flipper Hall of Fame. And stripping? Jenna Jameson is a world class stripper. Jenna pounces on stage after getting a zombie bite to show the club how the undead can dance. If you don’t get turned on by seeing Jenna Jameson strip while blood runs over her body, you don’t like B-movies. This scene was the highlight of the movie. Jenna Jameson’s undead strip tease was a sublime B-movie moment. I was entranced.
“Zombie Strippers” is a fun B-movie. A complaint I often make about these movies is that the filmmakers don’t put enough effort into it to make it fun or sometimes even worth sitting through. “Zombie Strippers” does not have that problem. The filmmakers took great care in making sure fans will enjoy it. Robert Englund did a good job as the sleazy club owner and the guy who played the janitor had me laughing. His scene naming his bullets for his last stand was hilarious.
“Zombie Strippers” is packed full of B-movie goodness. It had naked breasts, undead breasts, Goth breasts, redhead breasts and some more naked breasts. There’s also blood, guts, exploding heads, and zombie stripper catfights. This movie has it all! I was very pleased. Go see some dead strippers!
SCORE: 3.5 out of 4 Jennas
Jenna's main zombie stripper rival. As you can see, the movie was amazing.
NEW PORN RULE! TONY T
NEW PORN RULE!
TONY T MUST NEVER DO FOREPLAY IN HIS SCENES!
Tony T is one the most intense stunt cocks in the business. I don't think I have ever seen anyone get pumped harder then when tony t fucked the daylights out of Chloe Dior in "Big Wet Asses". He truly has a talent. But watching Tony T do foreplay comes off so dis-genuine and creepy I want to eject the DVD and lock it in a trunk for 80 years .
Watching Tony eat Jasmine Byrne's pussy, or suck Italia Christies tits, or put his middle finger in her butthole and make her taste it is like watching your Grandmother lick her lips. It's just not right.....
Please just do what you do best. Leave the loving for Michael Stefano.
NEW PORN RULE! BELLADONNA
NEW PORN RULE
BELLADONNA MUST STOP SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME WITH TERRIFYING DVD COVERS.
When I sit down to pleasure myself to a porno I want to be aroused, not have the fucking cum scared out of me! Who fucking directs her films for Christs sakes? Wes Craven!
NEW PORN RULE! CARMEN KINSLEY
NEW PORN RULE!
CARMEN KINSLEY MUST LEARN TO DANCE!
Carmen Kinsley, you are so hot. Carmen Kinsley you are so fucking. Carmen Kinsley your tits, face, and ass make me wanna howl to the moon like a Wolf. And the day you finally do anal will be more important to me then my wedding day! But with all due respect watching you shake that 40 incher is like watching Karl Rove dance at the Correspondents dinner...it's just not right.
Please go to a Latin dance class and learn to move your body in a manner that doesn't make me think your parents are confederates.
NEW PORN RULE! BLACK MALE PERFORMERS
NEW PORN RULE!
ALL BLACK MALE TALENT MUST STOP THINKING THEY ARE RAPPERS AND GIVE IT A FUCKING BREAK ON THE BALL CAPS, JORDANS, CHAINS, RINGS, AND FRIGHTENING LOOKING GRILLS!
You're not rappers! You have no musical talents (I think Jake Steed proved that). You're in this position right now because you have a large cock, can maintain a hard-on for a long period of time and can come on cue, or your friend that has a large cock, can maintain a hard-on for a long period of time and can come on cue asked you if you wanted to be in a porn and fuck some "beyotches". That's all. When a guy watches a porn he is putting himself in the position of the guy who's fucking and I'll tell you, there is nothing more wood killing then watching an interracial flick with some black dude trying to be hardcore in a baby blue valor track suit covered in chains and rings. Then when it's time to fuck he won't take off his Air Force Ones.
But I guess this fits seeing as how most Rappers want to be pornstars.
NEW PORN RULE! MARK DAVIS
NEW PORN RULE!
MARK DAVIS MUST STOP THINKING THAT BILLIONS OF PEOPLE WORLD WIDE BUY PORN TO SEE HIM AND HIS CROOKED COCK!
Never before in porn has there been a more conceited performer. His British sneer exudes arrogance. I seriously think he thinks he's god. For now on all his scenes should just feature him alone with no girl... he can sit in a chair and wrap himself in saran wrap and put a flesh light on his dick and twist it like he makes all the girls twist on his dick and he can just sit there for 40 minutes and talk to the camera and slap the cameras chest. I bet he would think it would be just as compelling.
NEW PORN RULE! WESELY PIPES
NEW PORN RULE!
Wesley Pipes must wear a muzzle during all his scenes for now on.
Please! Wesley Pipes SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!
Remember that guy from Goodfellas that always said the same thing twice? well I would bet my house that Mr. Pipes here loves the movie Goodfellas. He needs to shut the fuck up and concentrate on keeping his hard on.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
NEW PORN RULE! NO MORE RACIST PORN STARS!
NEW PORN RULE!
NO MORE PORN STARS ARE ALLOWED TO BE RACIST!
If you walked up to your boss and told them that you "don't wanna be work'n wit dem colad folk no mo" what do you think would happen to you? You would be branded a racist and you would probably lose your job! But in the porn business not only is racism tolerated... in some cases it's encouraged.
Taylor Rain, Harmony Rose, Jessica Darlin, Christina Alexis. Please move back to "Alabamer" and take your ladders with you so you can get the fuck over yourselves. It's always funny hearing a porn star say she won't fuck a black guy right before she sticks her tongue up a white guys ass!
But then again, who am I to question the rational of women that drink piss, eat cum, lick asses and show their gaped and beat up pussies for the whole fucking world see right there on film.
Porn whores I just mentioned.... I ask you.
If a black man pisses in your mouth... is it not yellow?
If a black man asshole is licked... does it not taste like shit?
Don't be dividers.... Be uniter's
UPDATE: 1/9/11
After receiving a ton of responses to this post I need to clarify something. I'm black and my girlfriend is white and I don't normally date black women. But I would never rule it out. I believe that discriminating against someone based on their race is simply put racist. People seem to have this odd idea that when it comes to dating and attraction it's all due to fate and matters of the heart and you can't control what you like and you can't just help that you're not attracted to every single black in the world and that's bullshit! It's racism pure and simple. Now in this post I have chosen to single out white women not fucking black guys because in north American porn the predominant races are white men and women and black men and then to a lesser extent black women. One of the things I have been accused of on here is people assuming that because I'm black I have no problem with black women refusing to sleep with white men... that's not true. Let's be clear. When you work in porn.. that's your job. You may be asked to lick a toilet or get fucked in the ass or to let that guy choke you and sometimes you may be asked to fuck a black man. Now as a human being you have all the right to do whatever you want and or to not to. But if you're refusing to fuck a black guy because he's black.... that's racist. And you know what? The same applies for my fellow African American women that refuse to fuck "white devils" because they're grandma wouldn't approve. Racism goes all ways I'm not stupid. But let's be honest here.... It's generally one group of people in porn (white women) refusing to get it on with another (black men). Which I add a million times is their right, however let's call it what it is... racist.
What I was trying to point out in my original post is that it's funny how Taylor Rain for example a women who drank piss and ate cum for several years in porn apparently thought fucking a black man was hitting the bottom of the barrel.
I do understand how that sort of thug, gangsta bullshit can be a major turn off to women in general of any color and if you look at black male porn stars who have crossed over such as Sean Micheals, Lexington Steele, Franco Rocforte they don't really push that culture in their porn. I also see alot of black guys in porn that honestly look like if they weren't in porn they would be on the corner slanging rock. So I understand if some white women may have a problem participating in "black on white crime gangbang edition #4" where you have no clue where 7 of the ten guys came from.
The bottom line is, I know racism goes both ways and I know there are a lot of white men out there who don't like the idea of "niggers" fucking their precious white gold. Hence a lot of the misinformed messages I keep getting regarding this reply.
Hope this clears some things up.
NEW PORN RULE! KHAN TUSION
NEW PORN RULE!
Khan Tusion Must stop being a pussy and bring back Piss Mops and Meatholes!
In their absence Meatmembers.com has been reduced to utter shit. If you're afraid of going to prison, then release your shit euro style like Max does. Anal lick fest and Black crack addicts pale compared to your former days of prominence. It's time to get back to the good old days. You have to wonder why someone wouldn't capitalize on the niche of watching American pretty American white whores drink piss for a couple hundred bucks.
Fuck alternative energy... this is where the money is....
NEW PORN RULE! GIANNA MICHAELS
NEW PORN RULE! GIANNA MICHAELS MUST DO ANAL NOW! I know what's going to happen. She's going to wait fucking forever and then by the time she does it no one is going to care or the scene is going to suck 'ala April Flowers, Cytheria, Sativa Rose, and Lexus Locklear. I'm not saying she should become Audrey Hollander. But take Amy Reid for example. HER tits are just as fantastic as Giannas and her work has an intensity that you never see in a Gianna scene because she (Gianna) like most of the Brazzers girls don't do anal. Do anal now!
NEW PORN RULE! STILETTOS
NEW PORN RULE!
No more wearing stupid clownish Stilettos! These are an absolute "must go" in porn.... They are ugly and stupid looking. There is nothing more unattractive then watching some smoking broad get nailed and she's wearing these silly circus style 9 inch stilettos that are flapping back and forth as she's getting fucked. I would love to see Shyla Styles come out in her next scene wearing some big ass red clown shoes, because, it's basically the same thing as wearing retarded looking Stilettos! Would all American porn girls follow the Euros lead... Sexy thin heels are hot! But 9 inch retarded clown stilettos are not!
Clown shoes, male clogs, or even those stupid little Elfin shoes they wore in the Lord of the Rings. It doesn't matter what she wears because they are all just as ugly as these retarded looking stilettos. Or replace her feet entirely... it could be the new fetish girls with hoofs. I could see it now. "HOOF FUCKERS VOL. 9" brought to you by Extreme Associates.
NEW PORN RULE! JOHN STRONG
NEW PORN RULE!
John Strong has to stop being in every single Red Light District/Platinum X dvd! I don't care if he works for, or owns the company, there is no excuse to see his piece of shit cock in 3 scenes per movie. Watching him fuck Bailey in the ass is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. When a guy watches a porn he's putting himself in the position of the guy who's fucking so guys want to imagine themselves with hard gigantic cocks like Brandon Iron, Erik Everhard or Nacho Vidal and (if you hate women Tony T) not this miniature hotdog shaped cock that looks like it will snap off at any moment . If Red Light District actually cared about their fan base then they would seek out some new male talents and stop using this lazy uninspired no-talent that never wants to get off the couch! Just because he shows up on-time and is ready to fuck, doesn't mean he's talented. Boo to John Strong!
If you don't believe me then search his name on Adult DVD Talk forum
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Moving Mountains
It feels like i'm trying to move mountains...
Once again I'm fighting being alone. Yeah i had alot to be happy about in my last blog but its still fucking rough. There still so much to get used to. A few days go by and everything seems to be just fine, but then i wake up this morning and something feels like its missing, and i feel like shit. I'm still having nightmares.
I would be lying if doing drugs to help me feel better hasn't crossed my mind. I think its even gotten to the point where if i was going to do them i would totally lie to readers saying i wasn't. Its funny, in "The Secret" it basically says that you attracted what you think about, well yesterday on my morning walk to get groceries i find about a gram and a half of cocaine right on the fucking street. I stopped myself and said " what are the fucking odds". Its not like i even live in a seedy part of town , its actually really nice over here. To first find 20 something bags of heroine and now a bag of coke. How is that not god fucking with me? Why can't god let me find a 2 liter bottle of GHB. I think maybe in all my free time i should walk around in my general area sniffing half full 7-up bottles to see if i find something i actually want this time.
So i guess something else that has me kinda upset, maybe not upset but frustrated is the fact that i am way to shy to take any connection that i have made with any guy i have hooked up with past sex. The sex is the easy part, its everything else that i suck at. Its just inviting someone over to talk and hang out that i can't seem to handle. I just think when i talk to someone and they start to listen to how fucked up i am that it will just ruin everything. I guess I'm scared of rejection. And lets face it as soon as i start giving someone my back round, if i could only read someones mind I'm sure all i would hear "holy fuck, this guy is not worth all this"
I guess i don't know the first thing about love, i just know how to dig my own grave.
One final personal note to Danny:
During our last argument online, i had lied to you about stuff i was doing during the time we had started talking with each other again. It was said out of anger and said to make you mad. I realize now that as much as it felt good at the time that i was just making myself look bad. I do not wanna get back together but i do not want a lie to be your the last impression of me. I have stayed pretty good friends with all my ex's and i don't think you should be any different. I do wish you the best for you. that's it.
"And after all of this I am amazed, That I am cursed far more than I am praised" ~Dustin Kensrue
Once again I'm fighting being alone. Yeah i had alot to be happy about in my last blog but its still fucking rough. There still so much to get used to. A few days go by and everything seems to be just fine, but then i wake up this morning and something feels like its missing, and i feel like shit. I'm still having nightmares.
I would be lying if doing drugs to help me feel better hasn't crossed my mind. I think its even gotten to the point where if i was going to do them i would totally lie to readers saying i wasn't. Its funny, in "The Secret" it basically says that you attracted what you think about, well yesterday on my morning walk to get groceries i find about a gram and a half of cocaine right on the fucking street. I stopped myself and said " what are the fucking odds". Its not like i even live in a seedy part of town , its actually really nice over here. To first find 20 something bags of heroine and now a bag of coke. How is that not god fucking with me? Why can't god let me find a 2 liter bottle of GHB. I think maybe in all my free time i should walk around in my general area sniffing half full 7-up bottles to see if i find something i actually want this time.
So i guess something else that has me kinda upset, maybe not upset but frustrated is the fact that i am way to shy to take any connection that i have made with any guy i have hooked up with past sex. The sex is the easy part, its everything else that i suck at. Its just inviting someone over to talk and hang out that i can't seem to handle. I just think when i talk to someone and they start to listen to how fucked up i am that it will just ruin everything. I guess I'm scared of rejection. And lets face it as soon as i start giving someone my back round, if i could only read someones mind I'm sure all i would hear "holy fuck, this guy is not worth all this"
I guess i don't know the first thing about love, i just know how to dig my own grave.
One final personal note to Danny:
During our last argument online, i had lied to you about stuff i was doing during the time we had started talking with each other again. It was said out of anger and said to make you mad. I realize now that as much as it felt good at the time that i was just making myself look bad. I do not wanna get back together but i do not want a lie to be your the last impression of me. I have stayed pretty good friends with all my ex's and i don't think you should be any different. I do wish you the best for you. that's it.
"And after all of this I am amazed, That I am cursed far more than I am praised" ~Dustin Kensrue
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Happy Post
I'm more surprised than you...
You know, its crazy but i am so fucking happy lately. I'm not sure why, i think its a bunch of things.
Thanks to my diet and healthy living i would say that my body is looking the best it has in years. Working out and my body is my obsession yet, I'm never satisfied with the way i look. This is the first time in awhile that i have been able to stop and compliment myself. That is huge for me. Granted i still feel i have a long way to go on the look i wanna accomplish. I'm just happy i am heading in the right direction.
I think the second thing that has me pretty happy is that i am adjusting to the single lifestyle pretty easily. Take yesterday for instance, I had an amazing brunch date with a great guy, worked out and was approached in the gym by a guy i always enjoy looking at for a date, which i agreed to, then later that night i had a great hook up with a strikingly beautiful muscle twink bottom that had my toes curling even after he left. I was fucking glowing. Then later i hung out with friends at a seedy sex/underwear party for shits and giggles. No one there to hold me back, nothing nagging me, no one saying, "James, your a whore for enjoying this". I finally feel like that weight that me tied to the bottom of the ocean has been lifted and I'm finally floating to the surface to breathe again. Not only can i breathe again but i can float whichever way i fucking choose.
Its also kinda funny, that when things started going bad with Danny, i had about 3 kids throwing themselves at me to be my next boyfriend. At the time i was even considering dating one of them out of pure desperation to avoid being alone. But that would just be another mistake and who knows, it could have possibly been another wasted year of my life. I'm okay being alone right now, which is shocking. My pillows have been great snuggle buddies for me. That's all i need is me right now, and its such a great feeling.
I have finally let go. I didn't know that it would be so nice.
You know, its crazy but i am so fucking happy lately. I'm not sure why, i think its a bunch of things.
Thanks to my diet and healthy living i would say that my body is looking the best it has in years. Working out and my body is my obsession yet, I'm never satisfied with the way i look. This is the first time in awhile that i have been able to stop and compliment myself. That is huge for me. Granted i still feel i have a long way to go on the look i wanna accomplish. I'm just happy i am heading in the right direction.
I think the second thing that has me pretty happy is that i am adjusting to the single lifestyle pretty easily. Take yesterday for instance, I had an amazing brunch date with a great guy, worked out and was approached in the gym by a guy i always enjoy looking at for a date, which i agreed to, then later that night i had a great hook up with a strikingly beautiful muscle twink bottom that had my toes curling even after he left. I was fucking glowing. Then later i hung out with friends at a seedy sex/underwear party for shits and giggles. No one there to hold me back, nothing nagging me, no one saying, "James, your a whore for enjoying this". I finally feel like that weight that me tied to the bottom of the ocean has been lifted and I'm finally floating to the surface to breathe again. Not only can i breathe again but i can float whichever way i fucking choose.
Its also kinda funny, that when things started going bad with Danny, i had about 3 kids throwing themselves at me to be my next boyfriend. At the time i was even considering dating one of them out of pure desperation to avoid being alone. But that would just be another mistake and who knows, it could have possibly been another wasted year of my life. I'm okay being alone right now, which is shocking. My pillows have been great snuggle buddies for me. That's all i need is me right now, and its such a great feeling.
I have finally let go. I didn't know that it would be so nice.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
I got my mind made up, I'm walking away.
I feel fucking crazy again.
All that keeps going thru my head is one of this blogs readers definition of insanity: repeating the same mistakes thinking there will be a different outcome.
Well my mistake is trying to rekindle a toxic relationship with my ex.
You know it was kinda nice the first week or so but as of this past weekend we just fast forwarded back at the low point in our failed relationship. Now its time to cut ties with him for good.
I let the first couple mini-arguments roll of my back because i understand he would more than likely have alot of resentment toward me after our break up because my not so discreet blogging. It seemed like each morning after a fight we both would try to reconnect and make things work. Later that night i would find myself back at his apartment like nothing happened. We would forget about anything that happened during our time alone and we would try to be the people we were before thing headed downhill. Well at least i would.
I realize now, that any fight would occur as soon as i opened my mouth. If i just sat there and looked pretty and played with the dogs, everything was fine. But as soon as i had something to say or had an opinion on any topic, Danny's head would spin like the fucking exorcist and then he would threaten to call the cops if i didn't leave. I would go home and tell myself, "this is not worth it, he is not worth it". Then morning would come and i would get a text like nothing happened and like the sucker i am, i would fall back in, forgetting the fact that i honestly did believe he wasn't worth it for the hopes of maybe not being single, maybe reigniting that spark we had in the beginning or maybe just because i liked hanging out with the dogs. I don't know, maybe i just wasn't ready to let go. Well.... I am now.
Last night was it. I with hesitation went over his place again last night even with the threat of being escorted out by the cops the night before. I acted like nothing happened. I went over but i kept my distance. He tried to get all cute with me and I told him he was being a dick to me, he crawled over and cuddled with me, he said " am i being a dick now" and i said "no, but just wait. i don't think you can help it when you turn into the girl from the exorcist" Was i ever right.
We began to have a conversation which i wont go into detail about just to save Danny face. Danny tried to not listen to anything i said and began to yell at me to shut up without even hearing me. After years and years of studying and researching this topic apparently my advice was still shit to him and i wasn't worth listening to. It was insulting. It was frustrating and after weeks of fighting without defending myself and running away like a bitch i started to get loud. This was my breaking point. I was tired of playing bitch to make this kid happy. I was tired of kissing his ass as he played me like a fool. He asked me to leave again or he was calling the cops. I left right away and plan on never returning.
Ultimately, this was for the better. The more he argued with me the more i said to myself that "this kid is not worth it". I found myself not attracted to him at all and then to keep threatening me with the cops, come on, that is not love at all. Over our little time back with each other he served up that threat 3 times. Power trip? I think so. It's clearly a trailer trash move , which is exactly how i see him now. I'm sure that's how he See's himself or should. Dress yourself up in all the fancy designer cloths you can afford, but you can't hide what your truly are. I see that now. I'm sorry it took so long.
I am happy to say that this chapter in my life is finally over. This time i'm gonna be okay. There is no emotions left, there is nothing holding me back. I don't feel like a failure giving up, cause i tried. In the words of Trent Reznor "I tried, I gave up, Throw It away". Our time together was closure. Its exactly what i needed to move forward in my life.
All that keeps going thru my head is one of this blogs readers definition of insanity: repeating the same mistakes thinking there will be a different outcome.
Well my mistake is trying to rekindle a toxic relationship with my ex.
You know it was kinda nice the first week or so but as of this past weekend we just fast forwarded back at the low point in our failed relationship. Now its time to cut ties with him for good.
I let the first couple mini-arguments roll of my back because i understand he would more than likely have alot of resentment toward me after our break up because my not so discreet blogging. It seemed like each morning after a fight we both would try to reconnect and make things work. Later that night i would find myself back at his apartment like nothing happened. We would forget about anything that happened during our time alone and we would try to be the people we were before thing headed downhill. Well at least i would.
I realize now, that any fight would occur as soon as i opened my mouth. If i just sat there and looked pretty and played with the dogs, everything was fine. But as soon as i had something to say or had an opinion on any topic, Danny's head would spin like the fucking exorcist and then he would threaten to call the cops if i didn't leave. I would go home and tell myself, "this is not worth it, he is not worth it". Then morning would come and i would get a text like nothing happened and like the sucker i am, i would fall back in, forgetting the fact that i honestly did believe he wasn't worth it for the hopes of maybe not being single, maybe reigniting that spark we had in the beginning or maybe just because i liked hanging out with the dogs. I don't know, maybe i just wasn't ready to let go. Well.... I am now.
Last night was it. I with hesitation went over his place again last night even with the threat of being escorted out by the cops the night before. I acted like nothing happened. I went over but i kept my distance. He tried to get all cute with me and I told him he was being a dick to me, he crawled over and cuddled with me, he said " am i being a dick now" and i said "no, but just wait. i don't think you can help it when you turn into the girl from the exorcist" Was i ever right.
We began to have a conversation which i wont go into detail about just to save Danny face. Danny tried to not listen to anything i said and began to yell at me to shut up without even hearing me. After years and years of studying and researching this topic apparently my advice was still shit to him and i wasn't worth listening to. It was insulting. It was frustrating and after weeks of fighting without defending myself and running away like a bitch i started to get loud. This was my breaking point. I was tired of playing bitch to make this kid happy. I was tired of kissing his ass as he played me like a fool. He asked me to leave again or he was calling the cops. I left right away and plan on never returning.
Ultimately, this was for the better. The more he argued with me the more i said to myself that "this kid is not worth it". I found myself not attracted to him at all and then to keep threatening me with the cops, come on, that is not love at all. Over our little time back with each other he served up that threat 3 times. Power trip? I think so. It's clearly a trailer trash move , which is exactly how i see him now. I'm sure that's how he See's himself or should. Dress yourself up in all the fancy designer cloths you can afford, but you can't hide what your truly are. I see that now. I'm sorry it took so long.
I am happy to say that this chapter in my life is finally over. This time i'm gonna be okay. There is no emotions left, there is nothing holding me back. I don't feel like a failure giving up, cause i tried. In the words of Trent Reznor "I tried, I gave up, Throw It away". Our time together was closure. Its exactly what i needed to move forward in my life.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
The Fear is Gone
So its weird...
As i hang out with Danny more and more, i see myself becoming the same person i was, both for the good and the bad. The good of course being the fact i feel grounded and secure. Its like i have the little imaginary angel back on my shoulder whispering to me, "James, don't be dumb". And i listen. Even thou, i'm not sure where we stand i do feel loved. Loved at least just enough to have me come back for more. I'm a sucker for love, what can i say.
The bad being the fact that i become a recluse. I don't talk with friends and i live day in and day out in a mind numbing pattern that has no real ups and downs, just a straight line, maybe more of a flatline, because jesus does it ever feel like i'm a zombie. The high point of my day is deciding wether i'm going to be a fat pig and get the meatloaf at Boston Market or just stick to my normal routine of getting half a chicken.
It was this extremely hollow lifestyle that lead me to do drugs behind Dannys back when we dated. It was the reason i would lie to him that i had no more herione even thou i still enough to kill a small army. I just figured "that day", you know the day you just can't take it anymore and you give up? Well i figured when "that day" came around, i needed to be well supplied to forget all about that day, and more than even just that day but enough to forget my whole meaningless existance.
Anyways, before i get that bad, i need to figure out how i can avoid becoming a zombie again. Granted, the drugs are a thing of the past. But my routine is back in full swing and I feel the boredem slowly yet surely creeping in.
I even thought about getting a job, Yes a fucking job! Doing what, i have no clue. But maybe it would be an outlet away from my boredem and routine. Jesus, i dont have much when it comes to skills, if i could only find a job that would pay great money to steal music online all day then i would be fucking happy as a pig in shit. I'd be employee of the month, every month!
I think i also need to learn how to be a real friend. Learn how to pick up phone calls and not just tell people what they want to hear just to get off the phone quicker. I can't avoid friends just cause Danny is back in my life. I always ditch my friends for my bf, until i end up having no friends left. I need to grow up and lean how to handle both. I need to find a happy medium instead of favoring one or the other. I hung up my phone on 2 friends over the course of writing this, so starting.....NOW!
"This isn't me" i used to say, But it is... I just need to change. It feels good to be alive, cuz i have been dead for so long.
As i hang out with Danny more and more, i see myself becoming the same person i was, both for the good and the bad. The good of course being the fact i feel grounded and secure. Its like i have the little imaginary angel back on my shoulder whispering to me, "James, don't be dumb". And i listen. Even thou, i'm not sure where we stand i do feel loved. Loved at least just enough to have me come back for more. I'm a sucker for love, what can i say.
The bad being the fact that i become a recluse. I don't talk with friends and i live day in and day out in a mind numbing pattern that has no real ups and downs, just a straight line, maybe more of a flatline, because jesus does it ever feel like i'm a zombie. The high point of my day is deciding wether i'm going to be a fat pig and get the meatloaf at Boston Market or just stick to my normal routine of getting half a chicken.
It was this extremely hollow lifestyle that lead me to do drugs behind Dannys back when we dated. It was the reason i would lie to him that i had no more herione even thou i still enough to kill a small army. I just figured "that day", you know the day you just can't take it anymore and you give up? Well i figured when "that day" came around, i needed to be well supplied to forget all about that day, and more than even just that day but enough to forget my whole meaningless existance.
Anyways, before i get that bad, i need to figure out how i can avoid becoming a zombie again. Granted, the drugs are a thing of the past. But my routine is back in full swing and I feel the boredem slowly yet surely creeping in.
I even thought about getting a job, Yes a fucking job! Doing what, i have no clue. But maybe it would be an outlet away from my boredem and routine. Jesus, i dont have much when it comes to skills, if i could only find a job that would pay great money to steal music online all day then i would be fucking happy as a pig in shit. I'd be employee of the month, every month!
I think i also need to learn how to be a real friend. Learn how to pick up phone calls and not just tell people what they want to hear just to get off the phone quicker. I can't avoid friends just cause Danny is back in my life. I always ditch my friends for my bf, until i end up having no friends left. I need to grow up and lean how to handle both. I need to find a happy medium instead of favoring one or the other. I hung up my phone on 2 friends over the course of writing this, so starting.....NOW!
"This isn't me" i used to say, But it is... I just need to change. It feels good to be alive, cuz i have been dead for so long.
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