The Happy Post

I'm more surprised than you...


You know, its crazy but i am so fucking happy lately. I'm not sure why, i think its a bunch of things.
Thanks to my diet and healthy living i would say that my body is looking the best it has in years. Working out and my body is my obsession yet, I'm never satisfied with the way i look. This is the first time in awhile that i have been able to stop and compliment myself. That is huge for me. Granted i still feel i have a long way to go on the look i wanna accomplish. I'm just happy i am heading in the right direction.

I think the second thing that has me pretty happy is that i am adjusting to the single lifestyle pretty easily. Take yesterday for instance, I had an amazing brunch date with a great guy, worked out and was approached in the gym by a guy i always enjoy looking at for a date, which i agreed to, then later that night i had a great hook up with a strikingly beautiful muscle twink bottom that had my toes curling even after he left. I was fucking glowing. Then later i hung out with friends at a seedy sex/underwear party for shits and giggles. No one there to hold me back, nothing nagging me, no one saying, "James, your a whore for enjoying this". I finally feel like that weight that me tied to the bottom of the ocean has been lifted and I'm finally floating to the surface to breathe again. Not only can i breathe again but i can float whichever way i fucking choose.

Its also kinda funny, that when things started going bad with Danny, i had about 3 kids throwing themselves at me to be my next boyfriend. At the time i was even considering dating one of them out of pure desperation to avoid being alone. But that would just be another mistake and who knows, it could have possibly been another wasted year of my life. I'm okay being alone right now, which is shocking. My pillows have been great snuggle buddies for me. That's all i need is me right now, and its such a great feeling.

I have finally let go. I didn't know that it would be so nice.