Taking a look from a step back

So this weekend was filled with so many mixed emotions, my head feels like its about to explode.
I spent the majority of this weekend with my ex Danny. We were celebrating his 25th birthday. But even with that in mind, Just like when we dated, we fought like cats and dogs. But most of the fighting was out of jealousies i think. I think we both intended for the other to sit on their ass and not try to reconnect with other men. I think we were both upset and pissed off at each when we did.
But i think when all was said and done, we finally met on some common ground. I'm starting to tear up as i write this but maybe the positive thinking worked. After i was done watching "The Secret" i wrote down a list of the things i wanted as the movie suggests to do. Having Danny back in my life was the number one thing on my list. Yes we are just trying to be friends now, but that alone is enough to make my miserable world alittle brighter.

Danny and i had a long talk last night about my multiple personalities and both agreed that its time that Erik Rhodes is going to have to take a back seat to who i really am. Its been over 4 years of hiding in the shadows of someone i never intended on becoming. I'm over it now. Someone had once said to me when they found out what my real name was that it ruined their whole fantasy, well if that is you, i suggest you stop reading now:

This was originally not for public consumption:

My name is James Elliott N.
I was born in 1-9-8-2, at Biosfet hospital, located in Long Island, NY
I am 6 foot, three I weigh 2-3-0 pounds
I have brown hair and brown eyes
I enjoy the gym, stealing music, movies and diner food
I have one brother, Jon, two sisters Danielle and Michelle
And two parents, Jim and Sue
In January of 2-0-0-8, I went crazy.

I have a lazy left eye
I snore
I am completely insecure
I am a long term relationship guy
I am a let down
But as of now i have goals and i am determined to achieve success and happiness in this lifetime.
I will always win.

I guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step back
How one man can literally buckle under the same pressures
Other men operate normally under
I have soaked this out from all angles, walking through time
I have been over everything in my head, still I can't think anymore
But I guess some times, when you can't breathe, there are people there
To breathe for you
I am lucky enough to have those people around me
Thank you for helping me to not die.